Oli Neskin binged every released episode of Heated Rivalry, a series about the obsession and desire between a Canadian and a Russian hockey star. She also listened to the original audiobook. Her verdict is firm: gay romance is the pleasure we never knew we were missing.

“I thought it was something like Ted Lasso,” I told my husband, staring at the two hockey players on the promo art. By minute 13, when the leads were already standing naked in front of each other, it was obvious that optimism and kindness were not the direction this show was going in.

I devoured every episode that was out, and withdrawal hit before the credits. I instantly downloaded the source material: Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid.

A quick note about me: I am an avid reader and believe there is no bad literature, except Paulo Coelho. Still, the world is too full of great books, so I never spent time on erotic romance. And if I ever did, as a heterosexual woman, I would have picked a straight story—or rather, it would never have occurred to me to choose anything else.

But as I started the audiobook on my walk, I realized I was smiling. My body felt a light, pleasant ache. I felt an inner radiance upon reading about Ilya entering Shane—a sensation I hadn’t experienced since Voldemort’s defeat.

I am not alone in this need for inner light. Heated Rivalry on HBO Max holds an 8.6 rating on IMDb and 91% on Rotten Tomatoes. The entire Game Changers book series has sold over 21 million copies. The Heated Rivalry book is at the top of all Kindle charts, not only romance. And let’s be honest: this is not the elegance of Marilynne Robinson or the spiritual force of James Baldwin. This is: “Hollander was damn cute when he was embarrassed. ‘Did you buy a building so we would have somewhere to fuck, Hollander?'” It is still beautiful and magnetic in its own way. Why?

Why Women Like Watching Men Have Sex

Straight and queer women have been watching gay male porn for a long time. Several reasons explain this appeal.

• Authenticity. In Male Gays in the Female Gaze, researchers analyzed the answers of 275 women who watch gay male porn. A key takeaway: “Respondents were more able to believe that both actors were enjoying the experience and that the sexual desire and pleasure between them felt more authentic.” Women tend to believe that two men enjoy the process more sincerely than scenes involving women. Many do not enjoy watching powerless female bodies treated as objects, often interpreting it as non-consensual.
• No Comparison. Research shows that porn shapes distorted body expectations, lowers self-esteem, and raises demands toward one’s partner. Gay porn removes this emotional burden for women.

Heated Rivalry is explicit, but it is not porn. It has a plot, even if it’s simply the rivalry between two elite athletes. Their professional tension gives their intimacy a depth that draws women in. Feminist author Jessica Valenti shared her thoughts on Instagram after watching the show:

“Aside from the fact that these two men are objectively beautiful and the sex scenes are objectively hot, no matter where you fall on the sexuality spectrum, we are culturally starved for depictions of sex between equals. Outside the bedroom, these two characters exist as equals. That is the point. There is a constant push-and-pull over who is winning and who is losing. For the most part, women do not get this in pop culture made for us. There is always a power imbalance. Even when the imbalance flips in the sex scene, if the couple is a straight man and a straight woman, the imbalance exists in the real world because patriarchy exists. So yes, the show works because it is appealing to see sex between equal partners. And women are starved for sex in pop culture that feels real and not poisoned by porn culture.”

Thus, gay content becomes a kind of feminist fantasy, where parity, desire, and consent are what turn us on.

The Double Taboo: Desire That Should Stay Quiet

Both gay content and overt female sexuality are often considered taboo. Recent years have brought a substantial cultural rollback. In the US, where Heated Rivalry is set, the current political climate leaves LGBTQ+ people uneasy, and women’s bodily autonomy is under constant attack. In Russia, the home country of Ilya Rozanov, the LGBTQ+ community is labeled extremist, and there is still no federal law against domestic violence. Talking about a woman’s right to desire seems almost surreal.

This situation makes women and gay men quite allies. Emily Nagoski, sex educator and researcher, says in Come As You Are that women grow up in a culture where their arousal is treated as suspect. Fantasies and any non-standard content feel like a personal secret. A woman who enjoys gay content feels a double taboo: the content is not about her, yet she is not supposed to want anything openly.

Feminist theorist Laura Kipnis writes that in a society that controls female sexuality, any female desire becomes a political act. Even the simple fact of a woman watching porn is treated as crossing a line.

No wonder the mass fascination with two hockey players tangled in sheets on a popular streaming platform feels like rebellion: a refusal to bow to conservative and regressive currents. We need Shane Hollander kissing every part of Ilya Rozanov. How is that, Elon Musk?

Dopamine and the Gospel of Heated Rivalry

Remember the blissed-out smile that stayed on my face while I listened? Along with the sweet ache in my body, it was a dopamine response to a romance novel.

The Journal of Sex Research published Pornography Consumption Modality and Function in a Large Internet Sample, which found that women are more likely than men to consume written porn.

When you read erotic romance, your brain works almost like it does when you watch real intimacy. Imagination activates the network tied to mental imagery and the anticipation of pleasure.

Several processes begin:

• The ventral striatum lights up. It responds to reward prediction, delivering a dopamine hit every time the plot hints at future sex.
• The brain gets small dopamine bursts at each rise in tension. A character makes a move that raises romantic or sexual expectation. The bursts are smaller than in porn, but they last longer and come in waves.
• The prefrontal cortex activates. It holds focus on the imagery and supports the erotic context. This boosts dopamine because the reader co-creates the pleasure.
• Reading lowers anxiety because the reader controls the pace. This activates the parasympathetic system. A relaxed body processes dopamine as pleasure instead of stress.

We live in an era of fast, accessible dopamine. Porn, alcohol, sugar, and social media push the reward system to want more. Like lab rats on cocaine, we press the pleasure button at the cost of our well-being.

Erotic novels can be both a drug and a medicine. They are a softer stimulus that helps thaw emotional numbness, for example, in depression when dopamine sensitivity is low. But addiction is easy. Anna Lembke, a professor of psychiatry at Stanford, told the Diary of a CEO podcast how she became addicted to paperback romances.

When novels replace life, it is a problem. They soothe pain now, but worsen long-term functioning. And like any addiction, they demand stronger stimulation over time—more explicit, harsher, more intense content to get the same buzz. Rising tolerance is a red flag.

Test yourself for Shane and Ilya dependence:

• Do you control reading, or does reading control you?
• Does it enrich life or replace it?
• After reading, do you feel restored, drained, or guilty?

My self-diagnosis is clear. Shane’s freckles, Ilya’s jawline, and several other parts of their anatomy pushed me to finish this text at record speed. My reward tonight will be two more chapters in my headphones.